After careful consideration I've decided not to go to Loscon this year. First of all is the obvious reason of finances. The transmission going on the car recently and the higher overall business costs this year with the new store has been major drains. I usually only break-even at Loscon when I'm in town so coming from out-of-town means it would be a very poor financial decision at this stage. The second reason is very personal ... lets just say that the scab really hasn't formed over an emotional wound from earlier in the year. I don't want to drag my drama llamas into the arena .. especially when I still care deeply for this individual and don't want to cause him any troubles during a time when he is always very stressed and busy. I want to keep at least the friendship part of our relationship intact and don't want to drag other people down with my emotional swings. This is also my reason behind pretty much deciding to back out of most fannish activities since it's hard to go to any convention without running into him. This is as much as I really want to discuss on the topic but I guess I must be feeling kinda bitchy about it today to end up even bringing up the subject in the first place in a public forum. I just wanted to put all the cards on the table so people would better understand my decision and not just try and solve the financial end of the decision. I will miss you all and wish you all a wonderful Loscon.